I didn’t get much for Christmas, but if I would’ve asked for anything, not some stupid toy I get bored with a month later, not that damn bike cuz I stole my neighbor’s bike and dared him to call the cops, but I would’ve asked Santa for a conversation with somebody fucking cool like the corpse of James Dean or Jack the Ripper, some many years later and it’s not my birthday, it’s the mad scientist or rebelling writer, Steven G. Fullwood.
Introducing and I fucking adore him; Steven G. Fullwood and he's dick is only "one inch long" but his tongue had to get arrested for indecent exposure. Buy the book.
***Steven G. Fullwood edited this interview. He also took it upon himself to interject himself into every aspect of it, even in the pro and epilogue. He is represented in the parenthetical aside.
To begin, at first glance he has a unique look, the pale skin almost albino, the innocent childlike eyes on a man’s face, can’t tell if he’s praying or preying. He’s hyper and very sure of himself but not too convincing. I see fragility. I see thread strings loose. I see hurt, maybe a broken hurt, maybe he’s still healing, something searching. I wonder what he is hiding
(***Chicken. under my bed.) I wonder if I care. (***You’d care. It’s BBQ chicken.) It’s like Emperor of Oz, the big lights, smoke and mirrors just to find behind the curtain is a vulnerable man. I think that’s Steven (***Could be). I don’t know. Maybe that’s what he wants me to think (***I want you put your genitals in a pot of boiling soup.) It’s those innocent childlike eyes on a man’s face, don’t know if he’s praying or preying or playing? He’s "funny" that way.
Question 1: Who is Steven G. Fullwood—born, nurtured, or reinvented?
All of it and more. I’m still figuring it out. I’ve died so much that I have no idea where I am in the death/rebirth stage, which is probably a good thing. Still coughing up dirt, I am.
Question 2: After reading your book "Funny" I couldn’t help to think to myself why call the book "Funny?" Was it supposed be funny like ironic or funny like "hahaha" or funny like gay or freak?
I wanted to write a book of humor. Most black homos and homettes were doing poetry or fiction, but few were funny and many were simply cautionary tales about coming out or catching the AIDS. Give me the funny! So okay, on a trip back from DC Black Pride in 2003, my best friend James named the book, "Funny," which encapsulated for me what I was attempting to do. I am attracted to many types of humor – satire, goof, irony, etc., so I wanted to try my hand at some of those forms. And, of course, funny like homo, funny like queer, funny like strange.
Question 3: I mean the book is funny, and it had a few laugh out loud moments and offered some smiles but what I really like was the originality of the thinking, fascinating. I thought a better title would’ve been "Original." (***So what?) Tell me the story behind the title?
See above.
Question 4: Let me quote some of my favorite lines ever. I will be using them. Which is your favorite and explain the story behind it?
"My dick is exactly one inch long." (***It is, ask my last lover.)
"There are those brothers who can’t get our of the "Bemadfightfuck" role…black men who only like to be mad, fight, and fuck." (***You like it because it describes you.)
"One of my latest sports is to pick up some young thing with body and face, work him, pat him on the butt, and then send him on his merry way." (***My humble contribution to the community.)
"I wanted someone, anyone, to accidentally stumble on my genius and freak the fuck out." (***This is the result of poor self-esteem.)
"I was booted out the gay club. But that was fine with me, because I started that fight on purpose." (***Gays are an abomination.)
"I fucking amaze me!" (***I do. I’m amazingly gifted.)
The last one, for sure. Back then I had a very high opinion of myself and today it’s much higher. Considerably higher, actually. In fact, I have to go look in the mirror right now. Be back in a second.
Question 5: In the introduction, at first I thought your humor was going to be sort of absurd like Edward Albee or cartoons like Ren and Stimpy. I found out that you are really silly. Really funny. It’s more ironic humor. It’s not David Sedaris, Lewis Black or Woody Allen. At some points, it’s more political, sort of a diet Chris Rock not vulgarity of David Chappelle but a Paul Money. You wrote a humor book so who were your influences? Do you see yourself as a humorist? What humorist have you read?
My influences include but are not limited to Dorothy Parker, who I would describe at as wit, rather than a humorist. Then there’s Anne Lamott, Cynthia Heimel, George Carlin. I’m inspired by Dick Gregory because he’s crazy funny, very down to Earth and matter- of-fact. Carla Robinson, my best friend since I was in high school, is probably the funniest woman on Earth, so I often steal from her.
Question 6: Your book reminds me of a writing exercise (that wasn’t edited.) In undergrad, I was told writers need to write down the demons to let them go. It’s how we as writers when we sit down at our computers, typewriters or whatever, how that which is haunting us the most needs attention before we can get to the actual story telling. The demons can sometimes be a distraction like if your boyfriend just broke up with you and you’re trying to write a story on love. But that’s what I liked the most about your book. Tell me about your demons. Or in your case because you "hate god" and don’t believe in conventional religion, tell me about your frustrations with being Steven G. Fullwood?
It’s not me I have the frustrations with – it’s with the world I’ve created around me. It gets scary sometimes.
Question 7: What is this fantasy of Stevenites? I guess I'm one.
They are real, trust me. I get letters and occasionally someone will fall to his feet and thank his good fortune that he’s met me, which is a surreal experience, let me tell you. It happens when I don’t expect it and I generally stand there wondering if the Steven this guy likes or sees is the same one standing before him, and if I had anything to do with it. Probably not.
Question 8: Now what I really loved. I fucking loved the essay "Livin’ the Single Life" and think it should be published in the New Yorker or a topic on the Oprah show. How have you’ve gotten comfortable with your self, loneliness, and are you still a warrior for "self-love" even if it means never being in a couple.
I got comfortable with being alone by acknowledging and celebrating beliefs I held about myself. One is that I need space. You know why I’m an A- in bed? It’s because I like to sleep alone. Another belief is that whatever I want I can get so why the fuck worry? When I want a mate, I’ll conjure one. Money? It’s on its way. Still another belief is that just around the corner is another adventure, romantic or otherwise, waiting for me. All I have to do is show up. Finally, nothing feels quite as good as being on your own side, and for me this is a skill I only recently learned.
Question 10: And let’s talk about fucking hilarious. I mean I missed my train reading the essay "Attention Homophobes." Is it a true story? I can imagine you chasing down some allegedly heterosexual afraid of what he really wants, but how do you feel about rape?
Rape is great. Try it today. If you aren’t satisfied with your rape, then return it for a full refund. But if you act now, I’ll double your rape, absolutely free! But wait, there’s more. If you order in the next sixty seconds, as a bonus I’ll throw a set of gensew knives absolutely free. Sharp enough to cut through anything. Except rape.
Question 11: I think your book is great for new writers. It’s really an urban gay book on how to be a sane urban gay writer. I saw myself so much in your book. I’m from a small town that I left for something better because like you I could put up with the racism, poverty or whatever but I couldn’t deal with the boredom. Are you still bored? What would you say about being a teacher? Or the messenger?
Not really bored. Boredom seems like an excuse not to create, and I create all the time. Being a teacher for me means you should know your shit, and I am still learning my shit. I’ve worked as an adjunct English teacher about seven years ago and frankly I’m still sore from the experience. Messengers can get their point across over a nice dinner. I can be a messenger.
Question 12: What would you say to the phrase, "You can’t teach a person to write, but you can allow them to scream, bitch and throw sissy fits?"
What’s a sissy fit?
Question 13: Can you be in love with someone who doesn’t like your writing; in a fire, what books in your home would you save; what can you go the longest without…sex, food, liquor or writing…? If god gave you the deal that you can be a famous writer but you had to die in the next two years, would you take it? What is the one thing you like about yourself as a writer?
I have been and will probably be in the near future. That ought to be fun. None. I’m saving my black-ass. Good question for a Capricorn. Feels like a dare. I fast, I abstain, and I’ve never been much of drinker, but there have been few periods in my adult life where I haven’t been writing. I don’t believe in god. But the death thing sounds like a delight. Make it one year and then you got yourself a deal! I like a lot of things about myself as writer. I’m talented, tenacious, and I tickle myself.
Question 14: If you were a tree, what type of tree would you be and why?
Any kind. They are all pretty fab to this writer. (I was hoping he said a Christmas tree or what firewood? LOL)
Question 15: Finally, what’s next for the reluctant Steven G. Fullwood?
Never heard the word reluctant used to describe me. Not once. Got a new book coming at the end of the year.
At the last black gay pride in DC, I witnessed him trying to sell his book to some young gay boy who complained, what’s funny about "Funny" and why you still selling it since it came out in 2005. Steven, in that turtle in a shell look just replied because it’s still Funny, now give me money. I think it’s because its still relevant. I officially put "Funny" on my shelf with my other literary references like "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg, "On becoming a Novelist" by John Gardner, "Making of a Literary Life" by Caroyln See and "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamont.
I believe it’s a book for any urban gay writer trying to remain sane as an urban gay writer, not necessary a "How To" book but a writer speaking to the mirror on "How it is." I know that probably wasn’t his intent, but the great thing about art, once it’s released and I paid my money, I can interpret it however the fuck I want, and I saw it as a book on writing. I got the humor it in it as being a fearless original and okay with the loneliness. I saw it as a book when I get insecure I would go back to stories like "You’re going to be so disappointed" and not feel so alone. "Funny" is a writers book and every writer should have because in the process of art, we all get lonely, horny, have to deal with insecurity, constantly trying to explain ourselves to our so call groups (us), those who don’t understand (them) and finally to ourselves (me).
( on sale, $110 buck by M D W)
